Thursday, February 13, 2014

Love in Pastel Yellow

We can do no great things -- only small things with great love....
-- Mother Teresa

My best friend!
I have a confession to make.  I hate Valentine's Day.  This isn't something new and I'm thinking it won't go away any time soon.  Let me explain.

I walked into Fred Meyer's this week to pick up a few things.  My girls have parties in their classrooms tomorrow and they needed cards to exchange.  I stood there in the middle of four aisles dedicated to what I believe to be the most obnoxious of all commercial holidays.  Red and white everywhere.  Overpriced.  Stuff for the sake of....well...stuff.  I was annoyed. 

I confirmed with Brian last night.  "We're not celebrating Valentine's Day are we?"   He looked nervous.  Just like last year.  "No....."  It's like he doesn't believe me.  That's where the rub lies.  The pressure.  There seems to be so much pressure to find the perfect gift and create romance on prescribed day.  Usually the gift is cheesy.  If it isn't cheesy, it's expensive and a drain on finances.  If you can get a reservation to a decent restaurant, the price of the meal is inflated.   Pressure.  Disappointment. Guilt.  These words typically describe February 14th for most people.  For a holiday centered around love, it doesn't seem very loving.  So, here's my gift to my sweet husband this Valentine's Day. 

Dear Brian,

No, I really don't want a gift, a card, or anything else tomorrow.  If anything, I want to grab a burger and a beer tomorrow like we usually do on our Friday nights out.  I want to sit and crack peanuts and relax while we discuss the week.  Nothing fancy, just what we normally do.  The usual.

I want you to know that what you do the other 364 days of the year is enough.  In fact, it's perfect.  You show me in a million ways how much you love me ALL THE TIME.   Here are my favorites....
  • I love that you do the dishes every night. 
  • It makes me smile at the end of the evening when you find me in the laundry room and help me fold that last load of whites (that we both hate). 
  • It's sweet that you remember everything that I say I like -- from my favorite See's candy to the socks I love at Costco. 
  • It helps me so much when you don't gripe about stopping by the store for groceries or stuff I forget. 
  •  I'll never forget that you saved my childhood fishing rod from my parent's garage sale.  It was broken and you had it fixed for me.  You knew it held special memories for me.  What a great surprise! 
  • It touches my heart to see you love all your kids.  Whether you are checking the oil in Kami's car, goofing off with Julia and Sophie, or helping the boys navigate adolescence.  You are a great dad!
  • I admire how you help people.  It was the first thing I noticed about you.  You have such great compassion for those that need help.  Thanks for leading our family that way!
  • Thanks for giving 100% in our relationship.  I never feel like I have to meet you half way.  We have never been 50/50.  You are all in and it makes me feel great!  P.S.  I'm all in, too!
  • Thank you for making me laugh!  Every. Single. Day.
  • I appreciate the fact that you work hard every day to provide for us.  Then you come home and alleviate the parenting demands for me.  I know you're tired, but you do it anyway.  I am thankful.  The children should be, too :)  You save them from their grouchy mom at the end of the day!
  • I wish you would take more time for yourself.  You tell me you like doing things with me.  I know you miss some cool hunting and fishing trips because you would rather wait until I can go.  It makes me feel guilty and special all at the same time!
  • Thank you for all the hunting and fishing trips.  Many guys would prefer to leave their wives behind.  Our adventures have created some great memories.  I think about them every day -- usually when we are folding the whites in the laundry room for the ten billionth time.  I live for those escapes!
  • I love that we are able to do nothing....or anything....together and be content.  My memory this week is squeezing under the car together to make a repair.  It's always fun to just hang out.  Whether it's working on something that needs to be fixed, running an errand, or building stuff together -- it's just fun to be with you.  Thanks for including me.
  • Thank you for not getting mad at me every time I leave the propane running when I turn on the BBQ.  You would think I would learn.  But, I haven't.  Thanks for your patience. 
  • Thanks for the sweet texts you send me every day.  It's nice to be reminded how much I am loved.
  • Thank you for helping me....with everything.
  • I appreciate that you let me have a voice.  You let me talk and give my opinion and you don't get mad.  You listen to me and I am grateful.
  • You always make my coffee the way I like it in my favorite mug.
  • You try to let me sleep in when I've had a rough week.  I love how you try to sneak out and close the door without waking me up.  Nice try. 
  • You always look for ways to make me happy.
  • You don't make fun of me when I can't even come close to naming tools correctly.  You name them.  I forget the names.  You show me how to use them and stand by patiently while I try to figure it out.  You're a great teacher.
  • I live for your Fridays off.  It's fun to take the kids to school and have breakfast out.  I love seeing you rested and in great spirits.  You work so hard! 
  • I love that you are humble and will be so uncomfortable reading this! 

Really, though, I love the little (and big) ways that you show how much you care on a daily basis.  I always know that I am loved, protected, and provided for.  So, tomorrow, take it easy.  Enjoy watching others frantically find that "acceptable" gift to give their loves.  You can revel in the fact that you don't have to.  That's my gift to you.  Take a day and know that what you do is more than enough and so very appreciated. 

Lastly, I have to tell you what makes me grin from ear to ear.  My favorite are the post-it notes you leave me around the house.  They are my favorite.  They are  To me they are better than any gaudy Valentine's Day card.  I think of them as Love in Pastel Yellow.....

That about says it all!

Thanks for everything!  Love you, Honey!
With love and gratitude.....


1 comment:

  1. Jane,
    You look so happy. I am so glad to see such a big smile. I so wish that I could share the same. My world is still just....... I don't even know. "She" still has my husband, and I sit and wait for him to return. I now see that he is not going to return to me, so somehow I will manage soon to pick myself up and move on. How do you though? when you have loved someone so long, dedicated your life to him, our family and he just leaves for someone else? I struggle daily with knowing his life no longer includes me, or mine includes him. I am an empty shell, going through the daily routine on auto pilot. I don't know how to be, I have lost all I thought I was, what I thought "we" were.