Friday, November 11, 2011

Confessions of a Dating Widow

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything
  There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

  a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
  a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
  a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
  a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

I haven't blogged much lately.  People inquire when I'm going to write again.  I am vague...passing off my lack of posting as a result of a busy schedule or lack of inspiration.  While it's true I am busy, I do not lack for inspiration.  I find something each day that makes me want share God's provision and goodness in our lives.  The problem is that one of life's greatest blessings right now can be...well...let's just say it's complicated...and personal...and private.  But, then again, not....

Many of you know that the kids and I have someone very special in our lives right now.  Some of you aren't aware of this yet.  The uncomfortable part is when you aren't aware and then become aware of it for the first time.  There is the double take, jaws drop, stammering questions follow, and then my long explanation -- the explanation that I somehow feel I need to give to justify my seeing someone.  I guess in my mind we have multitudes of friends and family that have supported us with kindness and prayer for nearly three years.  You have all walked with us, literally, through the valley of death.  We humbly sought your prayers, gratefully received your help, and have been so happy to share our blessings with all of you.  And, now we have a monumental blessing to share and I am reluctant to be open and transparent. 

So, this is the day I "get over myself" and acknowledge the fact that those that love us will share in our happiness.  One would think that if I am willing to share my deepest grief that I should be able to share my joy as well.  Hmmm...there is the rub.  Sometimes I feel guilty being happy.  I get the feeling that those around me expect me to grieve long, hard, and constantly -- meaning that I should not move forward with life...that I should stay stagnant.  Perhaps in that stagnancy I would appear more loyal to Marc.  I know Marc did not want that for me or for his children.  I'm pretty certain that God doesn't want that for us, either.

Yes, there is a special man in our lives.  His name is Brian.  I'm not going to share the whole story here today...or perhaps any day.  I think the other part of "getting over myself" is acknowledging the fact that I don't have to give a long explanation.  Suffice it to say that neither of us were looking for a relationship, but some intuitive friends had hopes and introduced us.  We are both grateful for their involvement.  All I want to share today is that he is a good man.  He is a huge blessing to me and my children, and we love him dearly.

I am happy to share this with you all -- it makes me smile to think that we are supported in this.  I would ask that you continue to pray for us.  While this season in our lives is exciting and full of hope, it also changes the landscape for the future and poses certain challenges.  We would be grateful for your continued prayers as we navigate all of this.

In the meantime, if you see us out and need to do a double take!    Just wander over and I would be happy to introduce you :)

In the meantime, here are a few glimpses of our world with Brian in it...

Brian and his mom, Anne.  She is a blessing, too!

My boys getting the opportunity to learn something that I can't teach them.  Bird hunting....Fun!

A Halloween princess delighted with her dedicated escort....

With love and gratitude......


  1. Congratulations to all of you. Thank you so for sharing your personal life . I truly think you are an inspiration to so many. Your words will very likely help another widow that has walked in your shoes.

  2. Love the hunting picture. Can't wait to be there in person. Mel.

  3. Cousin Joe said "FANTASTIC!" I'm so happy for her!! and I say "If I was closer I'd give you a great big hug" The Lord is so faithful. We will continue to keep you in our prayers as you journey through this chapter of your lives. We love you,
    Betty and Joe

  4. Our God is good isn't he friend?! I think of you often, and continue to lift you in prayer. Hugs to all of you! Heather Wendler

  5. Words can't not express how happy I am for you and the kids. Enjoy this time and the hope of wonderful opportinites to come. Brian is a good man and I look forward to getting to know him better. From the interaction I have had with him, I can tell you that I truly like him and think he is absolutely wonderful with the kids. I also love to see you smile again. I know Marc would want nothing more than to see you and the kids move forward in life and be happy.

    Life is precious and you must live in the moment. No need to explain or feel guilty. God's plan is magnificent.

    Love ya Sis!


    “For we live by faith, not by sight.”
    II Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)

  6. You deserve happiness. Good for you (and for Brian ... and for your kids ... and for everyone who loves you!)

  7. I read this with tears of joy for you and your kiddos! God has lead you on many unexpected paths these past 3 years and you don't need to apologize for your honesty. That's been the beautiful part of you sharing your heart and the relationship you have with Jesus!

  8. A dating widow : ) Jane - I am so happy for you and your family. I know you will never forget Marc as he is absolutely part of who you are. I am so delighted for the new family friend and grateful to our God for putting you in each others lives. I will keep on praying for your family!!

  9. Jane, I am so happy for you all! I look forward to meeting him!

  10. Jane, I am so happy for you. You are so right that Marc would want you to LIVE and be happy and love as you would for him if the shoe was on the other foot. Only God- He is amazing. Praying God will give you wisdom and insight and peace.

  11. Wahoooooooo! Kelly