Monday, March 7, 2011

Single

sin-gle (sing'l) 1. adj. one and one only.


I have recently realized the full meaning of being a widow.    The word widow in itself garners sympathy and concern...a certain amount of understanding and compassion.  While being a widow implies that I have lost my husband, it doesn't convey the harder reality of my life.  Along with being a widow, I have suddenly come to the full realization that I am a single mom.   Single parent.  Single.  One and one only.

Coming to this realization has not brought any bitterness.  It just struck me this week that my plate is rather full.  The reason I'm so tired is probably not from a lack of organization or lack of ability.  The reason I am overwhelmed is probably due to the fact that there is so much to do. Life is relentless right now.  There is always something to do, only one me, and 24 short hours to get it done in.   Again, I don't want to convey resentment.  I am not resentful of this new life.  I am not bitter; however, having had a bit of time to reflect, I realize that I can't do it all.  Well, I can't do it all at once.  Something has to give. 

So this week I have decided I may just have to say "no" more often.  I may have to learn not to feel guilty when I pace myself and decline an invitation or an opportunity.  My hope is that others will understand, too.  If  I'm not able to participate as I always have, please understand.  It's not that I don't want to do all the things I have always been able to do, it's that I can't.  I have come to understand that life has changed.  There is one of me.  One and one only.  I praise God daily that I'm able to the job of two.  It just takes me longer.  But, in order to do those two jobs well, I have to give some things up and be careful about my time and resources.

Well, that was my revelation for this week.  Some of you are probably wondering why it's taken me this long to figure out the obvious.  To be honest -- this has been the first strech of time I have had to sit and think about anything.  Makes me wonder what else I have yet to figure out.....

On another note...here are some pics from this week.  We continue to have many reasons to smile!




We had fun building a fife with some of our classmates.  This was a huge project, but it was fun watching the kids work so enthusiastically together.

Last Monday brought heaps of very wet snow.  Looked beautiful from the front porch, but....

the downed branches were not so pretty.  This was really heavy snow and it took out a lot of our trees.  Many thanks to my brother, Paul, for helping me operate the chainsaw and picking up all the brush. 

Meet Nellie.  Julia finally has a horse to call her own.  Happy girl!

Meet Jackson.  The boys, likewise, now have a horse
 (and all the chores that go with it) to call their very own. 


Have a great week!
With love and gratitude...

1 comment:

  1. after your note...I too am feeling the pressure of oneness so much of the time...I am going to see what we can do about this overbusy schedule. It isn't so much being only one for me, but being one with the other one to have to care for. Things are not easy and I am getting the drift...slowly, but surely...now I am sick. It just doesn't get any more fun than this...thank-you God for strength in the midst of yuckiness.

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