I have recently realized the full meaning of being a widow. The word widow in itself garners sympathy and concern...a certain amount of understanding and compassion. While being a widow implies that I have lost my husband, it doesn't convey the harder reality of my life. Along with being a widow, I have suddenly come to the full realization that I am a single mom. Single parent. Single. One and one only.
Coming to this realization has not brought any bitterness. It just struck me this week that my plate is rather full. The reason I'm so tired is probably not from a lack of organization or lack of ability. The reason I am overwhelmed is probably due to the fact that there is so much to do. Life is relentless right now. There is always something to do, only one me, and 24 short hours to get it done in. Again, I don't want to convey resentment. I am not resentful of this new life. I am not bitter; however, having had a bit of time to reflect, I realize that I can't do it all. Well, I can't do it all at once. Something has to give.
Well, that was my revelation for this week. Some of you are probably wondering why it's taken me this long to figure out the obvious. To be honest -- this has been the first strech of time I have had to sit and think about anything. Makes me wonder what else I have yet to figure out.....
On another note...here are some pics from this week. We continue to have many reasons to smile!
the downed branches were not so pretty. This was really heavy snow and it took out a lot of our trees. Many thanks to my brother, Paul, for helping me operate the chainsaw and picking up all the brush.
Meet Nellie. Julia finally has a horse to call her own. Happy girl!
Meet Jackson. The boys, likewise, now have a horse
(and all the chores that go with it) to call their very own.